At least make sure they are 18
Why
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
