I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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