now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
