what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
