i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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