I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
