he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
