you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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