Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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