You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
no, he came in my armpit
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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