I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
