you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize