You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
