I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
