I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
please don't ironically join a cult
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