Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
