So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Randomize
