you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
