Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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