I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize