we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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