I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
