I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
