She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize