4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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