In the future we'll all be gay
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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