That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
