no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
