You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
