5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
