trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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