I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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