I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
