and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
