I can tuck mytits in my pants
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has the fingertips of a God
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