girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
