i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
