I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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