five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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