Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
