Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
