R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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