Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dignity is for republicans.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
