I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
