Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
