I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
