That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
