Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
