im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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