she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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