living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
