David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize