Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
