people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
