Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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