Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
