I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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