17 year olds will be the death of me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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