I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
