Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
