So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
