those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
