Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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