All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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