girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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