I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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