I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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