Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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