So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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