You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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